Questions From the Backseat . . .

Last spring it finally happened . . . the little girls and I had what I refer to as "the talk". We openly discussed the fact that they both have a special China mommy who brought them into the world. For months I had dreaded this conversation grieved at the pain it was bound to cause my precious children. And indeed it did. As I tried my best to carefully answer their questions my voice broke with tears of emotion. The reality set in, and these children of my heart began to understand that they grew inside of another mommy. I explained that each one of them has a mommy who loved them first and sacrificed her own heart for the good of theirs. I passionately poured truth into my girls that God had planned before the beginning of time that I would be their mommy, that we would be their forever family. In a world of brokenness and sin it is difficult to understand why so many things are the way they are. Yet, to be able to share with my children the love of Christ and the hope that we have in Him is my greatest privilege. At the end of our discussion they both seemed to have taken it all in as I held them close and professed my deep love for them. We then got off of the couch and made pancakes together moving on with our day. Since that morning the discussion has been revisited several times, and the questions come . . . often from the backseat.


"Mommy, why didn't I have a family in China?" "Why couldn't my China mommy take care of me?" "Why did you adopt us?" "Why did I wait so long in China?" "How come so many children don't have families?" "How come many people in China don't know Jesus?" These are some of the questions that come to me from my two little daughters in the backseat. It seems to be that they ask theses types of questions when I am driving the car. Maybe it's because it's easier not to look me in the eyes? Or maybe it's because mommy sometimes cries when these questions get asked? Or maybe it's just that in the car is when the questions happen to pop into their minds? Whatever the reason, the questions come. Sometimes they are frequent and incessant, and other times they are rare and few. I prayerfully do my best to give the best answers I can think of. Sometimes the answer has to be I don't know. Humbly, I pray that God will speak love and peace into their souls. These questions are hard, and they will probably continue for a lifetime. Although, I am thankful that they ask. I am thankful, relieved even, that the discussion is open. I will always try to be as honest and truthful as I can be in the right time.


The girls watching our family go through the process of adopting another little precious has also probably sparked some of their questions. They are so excited about their new sister they can hardly stand it, and yet they are also thinking through their own stories. They know that their new little sister may feel scared and uncertain when we meet her. Joy remembers feeling that way because "she didn't know us yet". So, in one of our recent discussions she announced, "Well, I will just tell her that Jesus loves her, and He has a plan for her life." That about sums it up! Praise you, Jesus!!!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11